Can someone tell me what is the ‘snooze’ button for? I’m not silly, I know what “it’s for”, but is it really useful?
The snooze button is like that bipolar friend whispering to your ear “Sleep some more, you deserve it”. And then you’re like “Yeah sure, thanks friend!”. Before you even have time to close your eyes, he starts screaming at you “Come on grumpy lady, you just had to go to bed earlier last night!”. Then two seconds later “I’m kidding, go back to sleep sweety…”.
Aside from giving us false hopes and making us late, can we all agree that the snooze button doesn’t really have any other purpose? Nonetheless, I still use it every freakin’ morning. My boyfriend, who comes back from work around 1am, LOOOOOOVES hearing it ring at 7:30am… eight times in a row.
Because of my love/hatred rapport with Mr. Snooze, I obviously wake up late very often. You too? That’s what I thought. Since I care about your sleep quality and your pretty faces, here are the beauty shortcuts I use in the morning when I have less than 30 minutes to get ready.
HAIR
Estimated time: 3 min 42
First scenario: Your hair is dirty. Forget dry shampoo: there’s a better fix! My favourite “greasy hair” hairdo is the ballerina bun, center or side-parted, super sleeked back. Spread gel all over your 3-day-old mane, use a round brush or a comb to style it. Finish it up with a good amount of hairspray and then, voilà!
Second scenario: You went to bed with wet hair and now you look like a poodle who spent the night rolling around in bushes. Do a bed-head styled ponytail (no one has to know it’s an actual bed head) and let a couple of strands fall down. Loosely curl a couple of them if you feel like it.
Bumble & Bumble Sumogel – This has nothing to do with your crunchy gel from the 90s. This one keeps your hair supple while still holding it in place. #BestOfBothWorlds
Phyto Botanical Hairspray – It doesn’t make your hair sticky, smells divine and will make everyone forget that your mane is not freshly washed.
BODY
Estimated time: 37 seconds
One of the first things I ditch when I’m late is a shower. “Ewww Joëlle, you’re gross!!!” Well you should know that I have little to no body odour, so I can totally get away with a showerless morning. I just make sure to apply a nice smelling moisturizer all over my upper body and spray perfume like if my life depended on it.
Aveeno Daily Moisturizing Body Yogurt Lotion Vanilla & Oats – It’s so rich, it literally feels like you’re spreading Greek yogurt on your body (it actually has some in it), without the weird smell, obviously.
Evy Jo & Co Moisturizing and Aromatic Therapy Oil in Sauvage – Patchouli, sandalwood and vetiver: I’m falling in love with this moisturizing body oil just by reading the ingredient list. Oh and it’s made by a Montreal-based company.
Le Petit Marseillais Body Balm – With freezing days ahead, a body balm made made with shea butter, aloe and beeswax might make me not hate winter as much.
EYES
Estimated time: 58 seconds
When you’re in a hurry and you apply mascara, there’s a:
- 45% chance you’ll poke your eye
- 38% chance you’ll sneeze and have your eyelashes printed on your eyelids
- 34% chance you’ll draw a big fat black mark on the side of your nose*
*Source: A super scientific compilation of my personal experiences.
When I have all the time in the world, mascara is always the last step of my makeup routine. However, when I’m in a rush, I apply it first so I don’t mess up my makeup/get annoyed/be even more late if one of the above scenarios occurs.
Extra tip (because I’m feeling generous): If you look tired — which is very likely with that kind of morning — draw a white line on your waterline to open up your beautiful eyes.
Origins Brightening Mascara To Lenghten & Lift – I love how buildable it is: one layer for a natural finish and two layers if you’re longing for some drama.
L’Oréal Paris Voluminous Lash Paradise – The mix of the brush, which has more than 200+ bristles, and the silky formula will make your friends wonder if you’ve got fake eyelashes.
Urban Decay Trouble Maker Mascara – The best feature of this mascara — other than its I-could-look-at-it-for-hours package — is that it will never ever smudge, whether you’re in a hot yoga class or out and about until the wee hours of the morning.
SKIN
Estimated time: 2 min 18
On the back of your hand, put two drops of foundation, far from one another. Mix the one on the left with your fave moisturizer and leave the other one as is. Apply your day-cream/foundation mix first (moisture + coverage => in one simple step) and use the other drop for the other areas in need of higher coverage (undereye circles, redness, breakouts, etc.).
Multi-Active Day Cream for Dry Skin – This day cream is for us 20/30-something overachievers whose everyday life includes a good amount of stress and not such a good amount of sleep. PLUS: it smells ridiculously good, like every Clarins product.
Your Skin But Better CC+ Cream with SPF 50+ – This foundation is in my top 3 hands down. It has good coverage and an SPF 50+, it’s super natural looking and incredibly luminous.
CHEEKS & LIPS
Estimated time: 1 min 22
To give the illusion of being put together when you’re not, coloured lipstick does wonders. Apply it at the center of your lips and blur it outwards — it’s pretty, you don’t need to be Pat McGrath to do it and it’s super quick. With the little amount of lipstick you have left on your fingers, tap it onto your cheeks for an improvised blush. Smart, eh? I know.
Maybelline Super Stay Matte Ink in Dreamer – I’ve literally never seen a lipstick last so long.
Lancôme L’Absolu Rouge in Rose Lancôme – The colour is super rich and the formula is moisturizing (FIY: I get compliments every time I wear it).
Make Up For Ever Artist Acrylip in Orange – It’s like putting acrylic paint on your lips (thus its name) without poisoning yourself.
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Hey, you are totally right about the lipstick. When I’m in a hurry or late for something, I usually put on some mascara and a bold lipstick, people always think I look really nice and they have no idea I was late to start with.